reflection – Life According to TJ

Nothing New at New Year

January 1, 2023 Steph TJ

So, here we are. New Year’s Day 2023.

As ever, it’s a period to reflection and for many, a time to make new plans for a new year.

And as ever I’ve been bombarded with messages and adverts for things to commit to in the new year. Things that will make me thinner, happier. Things that will fix everything that is apparently broken within me.

However, the main realisation of 2022 is that there is nothing about me that needs fixing. There never was. It was just a belief in everything I see around me telling me that there is something about me that isn’t quite good enough and in actual fact that is all they are, beliefs and stories. Stories that are generally based in some money-making opportunity.

It’s been quite refreshing to be able to ignore all of the guff that has come my way. Some have made me smile. Some have made me chuckle. Others I have found quite terrifying in the way they blatantly target the insecurities of people. There have been several sharp intakes of breath when I see how much people charge.

Although, one email that I received did get me thinking. It was twelve different themes throughout the year. The idea was that by investigating a different theme each month you would emerge from 2023 fixed. Whilst I didn’t buy into the idea of investigating several aspects of my personality that required fixing, I did quite like the idea of doing something different every month – just for the challenge.

However, I know from many years of experience that it won’t happen. I will plan the year and come up with all kinds of exciting things to do each month and by the middle of January it will all have gone right out of the window as something else catches my eye, something pink, or extra sparkly. But there are a few things I would like to try in 2023. Not resolutions as such, but things I would just like to try.

I am going to do Dry January. At the end of the day any excuse not to have to drink for a month and I’m there, tea cup in hand!

I’ve also embraced a challenge by @shadowbooker on Instagram to read 12 books recommended by 12 friends. I quite like the idea of reading more fiction, but I am in a bit of a rut and don’t really know what to read anymore.

I’d like to do a month long yoga challenge. I have signed up to Yoga with Adriene’s January challenge – but expect I will end up picking and choosing from a variety of yoga styles throughout the month. The penny has finally dropped that I don’t have to be perfect in all of my poses, it’s the turning up that counts and if I spend the whole 30 minutes in corpse pose then that’s just fine.

I have also set myself the challenge of walking 12,500 steps per day. I know that the whole 10,000 steps thing has been proven to be an arbitrary amount that’s not based in any scientific evidence, however, walking 12,500 steps versus sitting down for the same length of time has got to be good for me in the long run!

I’m going to try Women’s Walking Football. It’s something I’ve wanted to try for a while but struggled to find anywhere to do it. Now I have and I’m very excited. I’m also hoping it will be a good way to meet new people.

Other than that most of the other things I’d like to do are creative.

I’d like to make some brooches.

I’d like to finish many of the projects that I’ve already started and publish the patterns I have already written.

I’d like to try embroidery. Properly try embroidery, so that I can add embellishments to my clothes and the aforementioned brooches.

I’d really love to make something using Irish Crochet. It fascinates me. Very time consuming, but I’d love to try to make something properly.

I’d like to become more skilled at creating new things from old things. People regularly come into the charity shop where I volunteer and buy lots of clothes which they are going to alter to become completely different items of clothing. I would love to be able to do that.

I’d like to become a Three Principles Practitioner. I have benefitted so much from understanding the Three Principles that I’d like to be able to share that understanding with others.

I’d like to have a go at making a podcast. I mean, who wouldn’t want to hear the tip top witterings of a middle aged woman from Stoke-on-Trent!

I’d like to take my camera out with me more and create a visual record of the year

I’d also like to try to find a way of setting up some kind of community space for people to meet up together in Albufeira. Like the equivalent of the church hall in the UK. A place where the WI might meet, where mother and baby groups meet, knit and natter. The usual stuff!

None of these things really count as resolutions, nor do they fit conveniently into monthly challenges. And from experience I know that if I try to pigeon hole them into month long challenges chances are I won’t do them. One thing I have most learned this year is if things are meant to be, they will happen. If they aren’t they won’t! I think I always knew this, I just got caught up in the beliefs that there had to be more to life than going with what turned up in the moment. Just embracing each day as it arrives has been very refreshing. I’ve learned so much about those things I do enjoy and those that I don’t. I’ve also learned that forcing things because you want them to be a certain way really isn’t the best way forward and if at all possible, it is much easier all round if you let things evolve in their own time and in their own way.

Sadly, being incredibly impatient, I find this very frustrating at times.

There have been some things that I started in 2022 that I’d like to continue.

I’ve started to make some inroads into living in a more environmentally friendly way:

I’ve switched to soap instead of shower gel
I’ve started using an Eco Egg for clothes washing rather than detergent. I admit, I was sceptical, but they do work.
Husband has started using refillable coffee pods. I am thrilled.
I’ve switched to more eco friendly dishwasher tablets
Not buying new clothes. I did buy the odd new thing, but the majority of what I bought was from charity shops. I quite enjoyed not buying new things and is the main factor in prompting me to want to try embellishing my own clothes. There are a few things I nearly threw out then rescued with the idea of changing them a bit, or adding new details to bring them back to life.

Far too late in the summer season I had the idea of lending out beach equipment to people coming on their holidays. I’d really like to try to get that off the ground this year if I can.

I’ve continued to enjoy exercising and love the difference that it makes to how I feel on a daily basis. Towards the end of the year I have definitely had more energy with a reduction in pain. I really hope that this continues throughout the next year.

The key thing I’d like to continue into the year is living in this moment and trying not to worry too much about what might happen if. I do still find it very easy to catastrophise about the future and can quickly move from minor event to certain death. Slowly, I am starting to recognise it as a thought that is unlikely to come true.

So there we have it. A new year with, largely, nothing new happening. And I have to say, I quite like it.

Happiness, reflection, Well-being

What if there is no plan?

May 24, 2022May 24, 2022 Steph TJ

I’ve never had a plan.

I do understand that you need some element of planning on a day to day level, to make sure that you are fed and clothed and the house gets cleaned. I do understand planning at that level. But not long term planning. I’ve never really understood that kind of plan, and I’ve never had one. Nor has husband

Not a five year plan, nor a 10 year plan. Nor a life plan. No lady plan.

Whenever I get asked that question, an interview classic, ‘Where do you see yourself in 5 years time’? I don’t know. I have never known.

There have been no plans. In fact, the only plan I can ever recall following was a half-marathon running plan and even that was loose. I never planned to run a half-marathon, a friend suggested it and I thought ‘why not’? By the finish line I had a clearer understanding of why not!

I have also never really had goals. Apparently you need a plan, in order to successfully achieve goals. Beyond getting up and seeing where the day takes me. Generally, that has been my approach to life – see where it takes you. What adventures might come my way?

I have dreams. Lots of dreams. Some of which came true. Some of which didn’t.

I dreamed of being an astronaut, which was an epic fail.

I dreamed of having a 3 bed semi-detached house. Which sort of came true, as it turns out all I wanted really was a home that was safe and welcoming.

I dreamed of going to Iceland to see the Northern Lights and it was the best experience, far exceeding anything I’d imagined.

I still have many dreams:

I dream of going on a yoga retreat, of going on a paddle board on the ocean.

I’d like to watch a grand prix in Abu Dhabi.

I wonder about being some kind of speaker.

Or of writing some poetry and seeing where that takes me.

Of bringing cheer to people’s days and making the world a brighter place.

Everywhere I turn there seems to be apps, diaries, journals all aimed at how to plan. How to be more productive, how to achieve more in a week Year long planning journals. 90 day planning journals. Each one with a guarantee that their planning method is better than the next one. How to plan your social media feed so that it’s more effective at generating income, generating followers. How to plan your time so that you achieve more, waste less, fit more into a day. How to identify your 3 key targets for the day. How to measure them against your goals. How to manifest everything that you want. How to plan your life in accordance with the moon. What success looks like, what it doesn’t look like. If I plan I will be more successful than I can possibly imagine

I used to think that my lack of a plan was some kind of failing.

Or that it was some kind of self defence mechanism. If I didn’t have a plan I couldn’t fail and I would never be disappointed. But I wonder if it really is a bit more straightforward than that.

Without a plan I was able to take advantages of opportunities that presented themselves to me as I went along. If I was glued to a plan I might have missed some of those things.

I might have missed the opportunity to go into teaching when I was made redundant for the umpteenth time.

I might have missed the chance to live in America as an Au Pair after finishing university.

I might not even have gone to university in the first place.

I didn’t plan to be childless but even that opened up a whole raft of opportunities I might never have experienced otherwise.

I wouldn’t have moved house twice in the space of 4 years.

I definitely wouldn’t have retired at the age of 44.

I doubt I’d be living in an apartment near the beach in Portugal.

I’d have played the oboe instead of the clarinet.

I never imagined I’d have this beach on my doorstep

Recently, I’ve become embroiled in the idea that I should have a plan. I should have goals. I need to be successful. I need to have achieved measurable success. But I don’t think my kind of success can be measured. I don’t know that you can plan to be happy, it’s just what it is. It’s taken a bit of work to get to this point, none of it planned. How can it be? My version of happy is different to everyone else’s so how can I follow someone else’s plan to achieve that.

I can’t really imagine how having a plan would make life all that much better for me.

I now realise that my unhappiest moments have been when I’ve been planning, when I had goals. When I had plans foisted upon me. Any teacher will tell you that lessons that haven’t been planned all that well often go better than those that are planned to within an inch of their life. There’s something freeing about just going along with what may be.

What if there were no plans. No goals. What if the only goal of each day were to be happy. Content. Happy and content with what you have, here and now. What might that be like? What if, you don’t need a plan?

The advantage of having no plans is that you can’t really fail. The disadvantage of having no plan, is that you are made to feel like a bit of a failure. Which is both sad, and terrifying in equal measure.

All I do know is that an unplanned life has worked for me. There may well be opportunities I have missed. But there may well be opportunities I’ve enjoyed and might have missed because they weren’t part of any plan. I’m currently considering which modules to do next for my Open University degree. I’m torn between Creative Writing and Latin. There is no plan. There is no pros or cons list. But I’m sure it will work out just fine, and if not, then no harm done. It will all come out in the wash.

I will admit that sometimes things just don’t get done. I’ve wanted to make a dress and a couple of brooches for a while now, but they never seem to quite get completed. I’m not the least bit consistent with posting blogs. Largely because other things come up – like writing, or reading, or exercising, or crochet, or staring in to space. I can see where an element of planning could be useful and do wonder if it might be a good idea after all. But I also like to think that it something is important enough or is meant to be, it will happen, with or without a plan.

So. For now, I think I’m going to carry on living a life with no plans. It has served me well, to date. Who knows where it might just take me? I do understand that for some people this approach really would not work, but for me it means that everyday is an adventure; it allows for something a little bit more extraordinary and unexpected to come along.

Food and drink, Healthy living, reflection, Well-being

Lent 2022

April 17, 2022 Steph TJ

So, Easter has arrived and Lent has come to an end. And I have largely given up cake and chocolate for 47 days. I say largely because there were some special occasions when I did have cake:

For example:

A friend came to visit me in Albufeira and we always celebrate with a visit to the fabulous Riviera cake shop.
Another friend came to visit and we also met up for a walking tour around Faro followed with a coffee and a Portuguese tart
We went fo a couple of nice meals which came with dessert included
My sister came for a visit. I’ve not seen her in person yet this year and we went for a walk with a cake stop.

What has gone by the wayside is the following:

a daily biscuit, chocolate bar or piece of cake at around 11.00 am
a nightly bit of chocolate watching TV
having a cake every time I go to a coffee shop to meet a friendIt meant that I was usually having chocolate and / or cake at least once a day. That was what I wanted to stop. And I have.
Sneaking a bit of chocolate out of the fridge

What I am learning about giving things up is it comes with a raft of questions surrounding the behaviour in the first place, which I do find quite fascinating. Why do I drink wine when I know it will make me feel awful? Why I feel the need to eat chocolate and cake every day? What need was it fulfilling? What factors are affecting the choices that I make? Thinking about my childhood I can’t really identify any connection with comfort eating, or chocolate as a reward. We did always get a finger of fudge and another bar of chocolate on Tuesday and Thursday when our Grandparents came to visit. But beyond that, I can’t really say that there was ever any emotional attachment to cake or chocolate that I was aware of. I just liked it. Better than anything else – or so I thought!

I also can’t really say that anything ever triggered a real desire or need to eat chocolate or cake once I’d left home. I suspect that more than anything there have just been ‘things’ that came up over time that created habits that then became ingrained.

I do know that there was an association between break time and eating a snack when I was teaching. I do quite genuinely struggle to get timings of food right sometimes. This has always been a feature of my life. I remember sometimes at school as a child I’d ask to go to the toilet during lessons, when in actual fact, I was going to get a biscuit off my mum in the office because I was having the shakes through hunger. When I went in to teaching I became conscious of the fact I could only eat at specific times of the day and if I didn’t eat then, there was potential for it to go wrong later in the day. The only problem was I got caught up in a habit of eating something with a cup of tea at 11:00am. That something was usually a chocolate bar. Everyone in my last school knew I had a latte and twin during morning break – to the extent that sometimes a kind student would buy them and deliver them just as be bell for break was sounding. Unfortunately, when I was working in a school where I was unhappy, I did start the habit of a sneaky bag of Haribo Tangfastics in the car on my way home.

Then, I do also know that our nightly habit of eating chocolate in front of the TV was a consequence of lockdown. We lived very close to an M&S food hall and they had some seriously cheap chocolates during the first lock down. We had the mother of a chocolate stash! Unfortunately, once lockdown was over we carried on the habit of eating chocolate every night.

So. Back to Lent. I have managed to break these two habits and can see now that they were primarily habits. There is no real emotional attachment, just habit. I make a cup of tea at 11:00 (ish) and reach for a chocolate biscuit or three. I sit down to watch TV after dinner, and my brain equates that with chocolate time. During lent husband has also cut down on his chocolate consumption. Not because I asked him to join me in lent, but because he’s realised he too is bored of chocolate every night. It’s no longer a treat. Eating chocolate and cake to this degree cannot be good for you.

I have, however, discovered that there is a emotional element to my eating habits – even though I hadn’t thought there was one. At the beginning of lent it was really hard. At those habitual times I struggled not to eat chocolate or cake. But the emotional eating was hard too. I realised just how much I did turn to chocolate, cake and biscuits for every emotion. If I was happy, sad, irritated, cross, tired, bored, if my hormones were raging – every time my first instinct was to reach for a sweet treat. But there wasn’t one to be had. There was no sneaky pieces of chocolate, no sneaky jelly babies. The options available were few and unappetising! I found that most often I reverted to:

A walk
Sitting and meditating for a while
Sitting and watching the feelings and letting them subside
Having a cup of tea
Doing another activity I do enjoy, like writing or knitting.
The occasional meltdown!

All of which worked. All of which made me realise how much of an emotional eater I was. Never did I eat something else instead. You see, I wasn’t really hungry, I just wanted the emotion to go away. I wanted to feel better and I was forced to find alternative ways to achieve that. I realised that the chocolate and cake was never making things better, it was just putting them off for another day.

Sadly, I have not lost one pound in weight as a consequence of giving up chocolate and cake, on top of the wine I had already given up. Husband says that I have been eating far more than I usually do at meal time – which I hadn’t realised – and which provided another opportunity for pondering and reflection.

With each passing thing that I’m giving up, it brings other behaviours and habits into the spotlight that I hadn’t appreciated were there. I realised I don’t enjoy wine and prefer being able to do other activities instead of drinking and that I don’t need the wine to enjoy socialising. I have also realised that I don’t need cake or chocolate. When we have been out for dinner during Lent I’ve not actually wanted desserts that have been offered and it’s made me consider why it was I always ordered one. I’ve registered that I am full. Previously, I would always have managed three courses. It turns out I don’t have a pudding stomach after all. This has gone a bit further when I realised that I am never hungry. I rarely wake up hungry, I rarely eat a meal because I’m hungry. I certainly don’t eat snacks because I’m hungry. Most of the time I eat because a meal has been placed in front of me. Because it’s time to eat.

I realised I no longer recognise hunger signals. I am so used to just eating that I don’t know what a hunger signal feels like. Sometimes I skip straight from not hungry to too hungry and so then have to eat something relatively quickly. Between the two is a point at which I must be hungry and I need to recognise that. I realise that I rarely stop eating when I am full, I eat the plate of food in front of me – not because I have to – not even because I want to much of the time, but because it’s there. I went out with my husband for our wedding anniversary earlier this week, and it’s the first time in a long time that I registered that I was too full – and that I wasn’t actually happy with the amount of food I had eaten. The food was beautiful and we’d go back to the same restaurant again, but the portions were just too big and I really didn’t enjoy the over full feeling I came home with. In the past I would have carried on regardless and eaten dessert as well, and repented at leisure the following day!

So. Over the last 3 months or so I have cut out wine, cut out chocolate and cake – to the extent that I don’t actually want to rush out and eat cake and now I am starting to recognise that I over eat and am starting to be more mindful of portion sizes and when I am actually full. I have become aware of the emotions and habits that lead to me choosing to eat chocolate and cake – it’s habits that have been formed over the years that I hadn’t realised were happening. I can understand more fully how it is that people can turn down cake, or how my sister can just eat a few squares from a chocolate bar. It’s just chocolate.

For the foreseeable future I will continue as I am, and pay closer attention to what I’m eating, why and when. Am I hungry? What does that feel like? It’s actually quite exciting to learn to understand my habits and find ways to improve them, or in some cases get rid of them completely. This is a very welcome side effect of Lent that I had really not anticipated and I look forward to finding out more about myself and enjoying food again.

Photo by George Dolgikh @ Giftpundits.com on Pexels.com

Happiness, reflection, Walking, Well-being

February 2022

March 1, 2022 Steph TJ

February has been and gone. Here in Albufeira, there are signs of spring and of the holiday season beginning. Most bars and restaurants will be open by the end of March and there is spring cleaning going on all around us. I anticipate that this year will be busier than it has been for many years. Whilst on the one hand I have enjoyed having the town to ourselves, the Algarve needs the money from tourism. The businesses desperately want the British tourists to come and spend their money, and I know the British are equally desperate to go on holiday, so it is nice to see people arriving for their holidays and short breaks. You can spot a British tourist a mile off. They are the ones in shorts and flip flops whilst the rest of us are still in jeans and sweatshirts!

Anyway, back to February. I really didn’t make that much progress on my list of 22 things for 2022 during the month. Primarily to a raging headache, initially caused by two glasses of wine at dinner. I spent one week getting rid of the headache, and a second week getting rid of the headache caused by the painkillers I’d taken for the first headache. So it was the sort of month where I just laid low, did what needed to be done and accepted that was the way it was going to be. This is a new departure for me. In the past I would have battled on regardless, but it is a sign of progress that I actually did just stop and spend time tackling the headaches and their root cause. This has also led to my actively avoiding alcohol and I am currently at 16 days without a drink.

There are signs of spring across Albufeira

The only area where I really did make progress was towards my target of walking 1000 miles in the year. I am now up to 322 miles. My current aim is to divide the year into quarterly chunks and increase the target for each quarter by a smidgette! What I love about walking is even on the lowest of days I can still manage something, even if it’s only a gentle walk to the end of the road to look across the beach. I am still having to remind myself to walk rather than sit at home, particularly when we are in Portugal. When we are in Bristol I have a Nordic Walking Group that I go along to and that enables me to maintain my distances – that tends to go by the wayside a little in Portugal as I definitely need an incentive to get up and out. This is really quite frustrating as I do feel so much better for exercising. During the past week or so I have been very lazy and can feel my body start to seize up – it definitely wants to begin moving more frequently again.

For one of the list of 22 – listen to a new album each month – I changed the remit slightly. In her book ‘Quit Like a Woman’ which I read in January, Holly Whitaker recommends creating a playlist of music that calms the mind. So whilst I didn’t listen to a specific album I did spend the month listening to Spa Music, which is a definite departure from my usual choices. My theory was if it’s good enough to have a massage to, then it must be calming and relaxing to have on in the background. And I have to say that I have really enjoyed it. When I’m studying, when I’m showering I have the music playing in the background and it is genuinely calming. Even husband has commented on how much he enjoys having it playing in the background. I’m going to go back to listening to a specific album during March, but will definitely keep playing the spa music at certain times of the day. The album for March is ‘Aladdin Sane’ by David Bowie. I’ve never really listened to much of Bowie’s music, and know very little about his earlier albums, but when I asked a group of friends for album recommendations they all agreed that this one was a must.

Even a short walk lifts the spirits when the sky is this blue!

I also didn’t make any progress on reading fiction. I’m not entirely sure I read one complete book in the month. The first fiction book I opened my kindle at the beginning of the month was ‘The Imposter’ by Damon Galgut. I think it was an Amazon recommendation that I got for next to nothing. It’s not really my cup of tea and I probably should have abandoned it and started something else instead. But I am at the 80% point now, so I really don’t have any excuses not to complete it within the next few days. I am going to set aside a few minutes each day to sit and read and get it finished. For part of my Creative Writing module for my latest degree they recommended reading a range of genres and authors to widen my repertoire. I have done that with this book and won’t be rushing back to read another one! I’m hopeful that March will see a return to enjoyable reading!

March also coincides with lent and so I am going to embrace the opportunity! When I completed Sober October, I found a ready made excuse does make giving something up far more easy. Nobody questions your motives. So, I am giving up cakes and chocolate for lent. As much as anything, I’d quite like to see what difference it does make to my weight and general sense of well-being. A few years ago I was listening to ‘Thought for the Day’ on the Radio 2 Breakfast Show and the guest speaker was saying that lent isn’t just about giving up and doing without. It’s about making a commitment to something – so that could be a daily walk, reading for 30 minutes a day, anything really. So as well as giving up sweet treats I am going to commit to the daily writing practice I set for a target at the beginning of the year and see if I can maintain that commitment for the period of lent.

So there we have it. Another month completed and I look forward to making more progress towards my 22 for 2022 throughout March.

Bristol, Exercise, reflection, Sustainable Living, Well-being

January 2022

February 1, 2022February 1, 2022 Steph TJ

Well, it would be fair to say that I have already failed on one of my 22 for 2022. That of writing a blog post once a week. January has passed me by in a blur. Here in Bristol it has been fairly mediocre! The weather hasn’t really added up to much and there have been some days when leaving the house felt like an effort too far. In a way it was good to have this list of challenges, because it did actually make me do something other than watch the month pass me by.

It felt like a mammoth achievement to make it to Christmas with daily covid testing, husband testing positive for covid over the Christmas period, cancelled Christmas plans and the quietest Christmas for many a year. Just making it as far as the New Year seemed enough and like many people we have pretty much hunkered down for January. It was nice not to go out, not to worry about going out, but to spend cosy evenings in front of the TV. Not helped by the weather – which has been particularly gloomy.

In addition to that we have been decorating our home. It’s only a one bedroom flat which means it has been impossible to empty a room, decorate and then move everything back in. It became quite wearing in the end, permanently living in some version of chaos. That too has come to an end as we had the deadline of the last week of January to get as much done as possible prior to having carpets fitted throughout.

I’ve also had a deadline for the Open University. Like buses. Everything came along in the last week of January! It’s a relief that everything is out of the way. I have concluded that there will never be a convenient time for an assignment deadline – that’s just the way these things work. I suppose it’s a relief that January is out of the way. For me February represents hope that spring is just around the corner and the worst of winter is behind me.

One thing I have really enjoyed about January this year is no resolutions. No self imposed restrictions that have become unrealistic 10 days into the new year. I have also continued to enjoy not being on Facebook. It has made such a difference to how I feel and has meant that I have engaged more fully with real people in real life, completed more crochet projects and generally felt more calm and grounded. It’s probably the most hopeful January I’ve had in many years.

I have made progress on some of the items on my list of 22:

#3 I haven’t bought any new clothes. I have bought a few things from my local charity shop, but they have been things to alter or to use the fabric for other projects. I’ve never been able to alter clothes and so have been using charity shop finds to practice on, rather than destroy pieces I already have in my wardrobe. So far, so good! The bigger achievement for me is not going shopping in the winter sales. I do love a bargain and so it’s huge for me to pass them by. It’s also made me realise just how much I do already have in my wardrobe and so shopping isn’t necessary at all. There is the obvious bonus of saving money too!

#4 Reduce single use plastics. I am in awe of just how many toiletries I have stashed in my cupboards – particularly shampoo. I seem to have a never ending supply of shampoo which I am determined to use prior to replacing them with plastic free versions. Whilst any plastic isn’t great, recycling empty plastic is preferable to throwing away filled plastic containers. So, as yet all I have replaced is one handwash, and one shower gel – both with a good old fashioned bar of soap.

#7 Walk 1000 miles. I am currently 202.1 miles having started on 14th December. I suspect I might have to amend the challenge at some point in the year, in order to make it more of a challenge than it currently is.

#8 Eat one piece of fruit a day. Another fail! I have been increasing the amount of fruit I have been eating, but haven’t quite managed that one extra piece per day. But it’s a target to aim for. I’ve recently been reading ‘Quite Like a Woman’ by Holly Whitaker and taking on more than one thing at once isn’t advisable, better to change things one at a time – so I shall keep this as a target and hopefully by the end of 2022 this will be a daily habit.

#9 Read 12 Fiction books. I have achieved this. In fact, during January I have read several books, although only two were fiction books. The books I have read are:

‘The Couple at Number 9’ by Clare Douglas – a Crime book. I enjoyed the read and finished it (which is unusual for me) but not outstanding. I didn’t put it down and think I must go and read her other books.
‘Mother Loves Me’ – a psychological thriller and for the first half of the book there were times where I was scared to turn the page, but then it sort of fizzled out towards the end, which was disappointing.
‘Spectacles’ by Sue Perkins. I love Sue Perkins and so when I saw this on the shelf at the local charity shop I had to buy it. A great, entertaining read.
‘The Wrong Knickers’ by Bryony Gordon. Again, I love Bryony Gordon and her posts on Instagram showing a real down to earth approach to life. So this was a delight to read and a real honest insight into the reality of life as a twenty-something in London.
‘Once Upon a Time in The West Country’ by Tony Hawks. A gentle story chronically Tony’s move to the West Country. The best part without doubt is when he takes a pig for a cycle ride across Devon.

#11 Make a dress that fits. The items of clothing I have altered have helped me with this as I am starting to get a better understanding of the shape of clothes and how they fit together. I usually just follow the pattern, but my body is a bit of a queer shape, so understanding the construction of clothing is probably going to be as helpful as following a pattern. That way I can work out what to adjust rather than just blindly follow along.

#16 365 days of writing. I have tried. This is another habit that I have found to be a struggle, especially on days when I have been studying. The thought of spending more time at my laptop blows my mind a bit. I did try writing by hand, but find that I think more clearly when I am typing. I also found some of the prompts a little un-inspiring and so ended up writing waffle. There was one day that I wrote a poem, which I did quite enjoy and came as quite a surprise to me. This is another habit that I hope to have incorporated in to my life on a daily basis come the end of 2022. Especially as I hope to have started a module on Creative Writing by then!

#17 Listen to 12 New Albums. My album choice for January was ‘Hand Cannot Erase’ by Steven Wilson. Which I have quite enjoyed and is certainly different to anything that I would normally choose to listen to. What has been most interesting has been finding out from different people which albums they recommend. I’m still on the hunt for about 6 months worth of recommendations, so please do feel free to share your favourites. If there was one album you think I should listen to, what would it be?

That’s all of the progress for now! I’m hoping that during February I make a start on some of the other items on the list, specifically cycling from Albufeira to Vilamoura and I am going to try again with the daily fruit and creative writing habits.