Bristol – Life According to TJ

Bristol, Exercise, reflection, Sustainable Living, Well-being

January 2022

February 1, 2022February 1, 2022 Steph TJ

Well, it would be fair to say that I have already failed on one of my 22 for 2022. That of writing a blog post once a week. January has passed me by in a blur. Here in Bristol it has been fairly mediocre! The weather hasn’t really added up to much and there have been some days when leaving the house felt like an effort too far. In a way it was good to have this list of challenges, because it did actually make me do something other than watch the month pass me by.

It felt like a mammoth achievement to make it to Christmas with daily covid testing, husband testing positive for covid over the Christmas period, cancelled Christmas plans and the quietest Christmas for many a year. Just making it as far as the New Year seemed enough and like many people we have pretty much hunkered down for January. It was nice not to go out, not to worry about going out, but to spend cosy evenings in front of the TV. Not helped by the weather – which has been particularly gloomy.

In addition to that we have been decorating our home. It’s only a one bedroom flat which means it has been impossible to empty a room, decorate and then move everything back in. It became quite wearing in the end, permanently living in some version of chaos. That too has come to an end as we had the deadline of the last week of January to get as much done as possible prior to having carpets fitted throughout.

I’ve also had a deadline for the Open University. Like buses. Everything came along in the last week of January! It’s a relief that everything is out of the way. I have concluded that there will never be a convenient time for an assignment deadline – that’s just the way these things work. I suppose it’s a relief that January is out of the way. For me February represents hope that spring is just around the corner and the worst of winter is behind me.

One thing I have really enjoyed about January this year is no resolutions. No self imposed restrictions that have become unrealistic 10 days into the new year. I have also continued to enjoy not being on Facebook. It has made such a difference to how I feel and has meant that I have engaged more fully with real people in real life, completed more crochet projects and generally felt more calm and grounded. It’s probably the most hopeful January I’ve had in many years.

I have made progress on some of the items on my list of 22:

#3 I haven’t bought any new clothes. I have bought a few things from my local charity shop, but they have been things to alter or to use the fabric for other projects. I’ve never been able to alter clothes and so have been using charity shop finds to practice on, rather than destroy pieces I already have in my wardrobe. So far, so good! The bigger achievement for me is not going shopping in the winter sales. I do love a bargain and so it’s huge for me to pass them by. It’s also made me realise just how much I do already have in my wardrobe and so shopping isn’t necessary at all. There is the obvious bonus of saving money too!

#4 Reduce single use plastics. I am in awe of just how many toiletries I have stashed in my cupboards – particularly shampoo. I seem to have a never ending supply of shampoo which I am determined to use prior to replacing them with plastic free versions. Whilst any plastic isn’t great, recycling empty plastic is preferable to throwing away filled plastic containers. So, as yet all I have replaced is one handwash, and one shower gel – both with a good old fashioned bar of soap.

#7 Walk 1000 miles. I am currently 202.1 miles having started on 14th December. I suspect I might have to amend the challenge at some point in the year, in order to make it more of a challenge than it currently is.

#8 Eat one piece of fruit a day. Another fail! I have been increasing the amount of fruit I have been eating, but haven’t quite managed that one extra piece per day. But it’s a target to aim for. I’ve recently been reading ‘Quite Like a Woman’ by Holly Whitaker and taking on more than one thing at once isn’t advisable, better to change things one at a time – so I shall keep this as a target and hopefully by the end of 2022 this will be a daily habit.

#9 Read 12 Fiction books. I have achieved this. In fact, during January I have read several books, although only two were fiction books. The books I have read are:

‘The Couple at Number 9’ by Clare Douglas – a Crime book. I enjoyed the read and finished it (which is unusual for me) but not outstanding. I didn’t put it down and think I must go and read her other books.
‘Mother Loves Me’ – a psychological thriller and for the first half of the book there were times where I was scared to turn the page, but then it sort of fizzled out towards the end, which was disappointing.
‘Spectacles’ by Sue Perkins. I love Sue Perkins and so when I saw this on the shelf at the local charity shop I had to buy it. A great, entertaining read.
‘The Wrong Knickers’ by Bryony Gordon. Again, I love Bryony Gordon and her posts on Instagram showing a real down to earth approach to life. So this was a delight to read and a real honest insight into the reality of life as a twenty-something in London.
‘Once Upon a Time in The West Country’ by Tony Hawks. A gentle story chronically Tony’s move to the West Country. The best part without doubt is when he takes a pig for a cycle ride across Devon.

#11 Make a dress that fits. The items of clothing I have altered have helped me with this as I am starting to get a better understanding of the shape of clothes and how they fit together. I usually just follow the pattern, but my body is a bit of a queer shape, so understanding the construction of clothing is probably going to be as helpful as following a pattern. That way I can work out what to adjust rather than just blindly follow along.

#16 365 days of writing. I have tried. This is another habit that I have found to be a struggle, especially on days when I have been studying. The thought of spending more time at my laptop blows my mind a bit. I did try writing by hand, but find that I think more clearly when I am typing. I also found some of the prompts a little un-inspiring and so ended up writing waffle. There was one day that I wrote a poem, which I did quite enjoy and came as quite a surprise to me. This is another habit that I hope to have incorporated in to my life on a daily basis come the end of 2022. Especially as I hope to have started a module on Creative Writing by then!

#17 Listen to 12 New Albums. My album choice for January was ‘Hand Cannot Erase’ by Steven Wilson. Which I have quite enjoyed and is certainly different to anything that I would normally choose to listen to. What has been most interesting has been finding out from different people which albums they recommend. I’m still on the hunt for about 6 months worth of recommendations, so please do feel free to share your favourites. If there was one album you think I should listen to, what would it be?

That’s all of the progress for now! I’m hoping that during February I make a start on some of the other items on the list, specifically cycling from Albufeira to Vilamoura and I am going to try again with the daily fruit and creative writing habits.

Bristol, Happiness, Healthy living

Lockdown Days

May 16, 2020 Steph TJ

So, we are still in lockdown in the UK. Rather than staying safe, we are staying alert, whatever that means and is open to interpretation.

For me, it means relatively little has changed. I still can’t visit friends at their homes, I still can’t go for a swim and I still can’t visit family, especially as they are shielding as part of the most vulnerable category, however, we are allowed to meet with a friend from another household as long as we maintain social distancing requirements. We can now go out more than once a day and we can go and visit places for exercise that are more than a short walk away. The only technical hitch we have, is that we have been instructed to avoid public transport. As we don’t have a car, this pretty much means we are still limited to the immediate area.

Husband and I, however, have established a new kind of normal and probably have more of a routine than we’ve had for years. In an attempt to improve my sleeping habits and create a more regular routine I had already started to set my alarm for 7.30am and I have maintained that habit. That is probably where the similarities between life before Covid_19 and life with Covid_19 end. During this enforced period at home I have been reading a number of books based on spirituality, in particular the belief that we are all made from the same stuff as everything else in the universe. What I particularly like about the books I’ve been reading is that it is based on science, specifically quantum physics.

So, after waking up at 7:30 my day pretty much follows the same outline every day

I start with scraping my tongue, and splashing water on my face – a practice based in Ayurveda.

I then have a cup of hot lemon water, with ginger, turmeric and cinnamon which I keep in ice cube trays in the freezer.

Following this I have breakfast – usually porridge with seeds, and berries, occasionally yoghurt with seeds, nuts and berries, or oat biscuits with peanut butter.

After breakfast I do a short yoga routine. Due to my fibromyalgia this is a bit of a work in progress. I am up to about 15 minutes per day.

I follow this with time on my meditation stool, some days I do a mantra, some days I do some breathing exercises, I usually include a period of heart coherence and most days I will also do a short meditation. I’ve started to do the guided meditation of the day on Insight Timer, as much as anything to embrace new things and not get stuck in a meditation rut. My favourite so far, that I would never normally have tried, is meditation to poetry.

All of this takes about an hour, but the difference it has made to my well-being is immense. This is the one thing that after lockdown will be staying. I would not have made time for this under normal circumstances, but now I have embraced the opportunity, I would be very sad to miss it. On days when I am short of time in the morning, I still make sure I at least do the yoga and a short meditation, as it does genuinely set me up for the day.

Usually husband goes out to do the food shopping whilst I am doing my daily practice, but during the remainder of the morning time is spent doing chores, doing crafts, reading and going for a walk. More often than not, the walk takes in a rather lovely little coffee hut by the side of the water. This coffee hut has kept me sane! I’m not so sure now if it’s the coffee or the time spent on the bench watching the world go by that matters. I live in an apartment with no outside space, so that time sitting outdoors is invaluable. During these walks we have found some amazing things around Bristol, including a beautiful rose garden at Temple Gardens.

The local coffee hut is a very welcome distraction!

Afternoons vary, depending as much as anything on levels of pain or energy, what I fancy doing, or which free course I have signed up to! I spend this time watching videos, reading, doing more creative crafts, writing letters to friends and family. Later on in the afternoon I do a bit more exercise. I am a big fan of moving little and often, so I will do some Qi Gong and we often go for a second walk in the local area. The afternoons are definitely busier than the mornings in the centre of Bristol and it is nice to see some signs of life, from a safe distance, of course. I will also spend some more time sitting on my stool, more heart coherence, more meditating – whatever takes my fancy to be honest!

Our evenings are more often than not spent in watching the TV. We don’t watch a vast amount of television – we watch Points West, the local news, the One Show on BBC1 and then normally watch one other programme during the evening. Besides that I’ll do a bit more crochet or some more reading. Once a week we have an online meet-up with our friends over a glass of wine and share news from the week. As with many people, this time spent with friends has been huge and makes you feel part of the world again, if only for a short time.

And there’s my day! So very simple, but incredibly enjoyable. Once a week I go to volunteer at one of the hotels hosting homeless people in Bristol and three times a week I go out for a Nordic Walk. I’m following the NHS Couch to 5k programme. I daren’t run due to my fibromyalgia, but by using the poles, I do get more of a full body workout and walk faster than I would normally. I’m up to week 3 now and as yet have not been too badly affected, so I am hopeful that my battered body will withstand the pace! If not, I’ll just have to walk slower.

I’ve spent a lot of time crafting, (and drinking tea), getting back into my crochet course.

As with the spiritual practices, if you’d told me two months a go that I would be so content with such a simple quiet life I would have thought you were totally mad. Normally, I am constantly on the go, filling my days with busy-ness, can’t sit still, hate doing nothing. Now I find myself frequently looking out of the window watching the birds. True, I only have a choice of pigeons and sea gulls to look at, but I am back to just watching the birds and am more content to just sit and be. I’ve also become more productive, rather than busily trying to do a million and one things I can just sit and focus on one thing at a time. I’m back to enjoying my crochet course, and I am so close to finishing it.

I’ve had time to reflect, time to contemplate, time to wonder (much to husband’s annoyance as he frequently gets dragged into my wondering). I’m beginning to see signs of the real me that got pushed aside and dragged under by my last years in teaching, I’m starting to enjoy the process and not be so concerned by the outcomes, which no longer have to be so perfect. I’m starting to laugh a bit more. I’m starting to sleep better. For me, this period of time spent with my husband, just the two of us, has been a blessing. Days with him are still the sparkliest of all. I am hopeful that when we are allowed back into the real world, that the things I have learned will hold me in good stead and I won’t find it quite as intimidating as it was before.

Bristol, Walking, Well-being

Life in Lockdown

May 2, 2020May 2, 2020 Steph TJ

As many other people across the world, I am in lockdown, or quarantine, or whatever it is you happen to call it. I am in the British version of lockdown, as one thing I have discovered throughout this, is one country’s version of lockdown is very different to another.

I am allowed to go out for essential trips, to the pharmacy or supermarket as infrequently as possible.
I cannot meet up with people from other households
I am allowed to go out for exercise once a day.

I have been quite surprised at how well I have taken to the lockdown. Prior to this situation I had been doing quite a lot of work on remaining present and strategies to enable me to remain present, remain mindful, and to find joy in the simple. It also coincided with an increase in a spiritual faith (which, apparently, is often a knock on effect of developing a daily meditation practice). Don’t ask me to explain exactly what form that ‘faith’ takes as it varies from one day to the next! One thing that I have always had running through me like a steel core, is hope. People often say, if I was a stick of rock, I would have something running through me. For me it is hope. Even in my hardest, darkest moments I have always had hope that tomorrow will be a better day. Recently I went to watch The Book of Mormon, and there is a song in it ‘Tomorrow is a Latter Day’. All through this lockdown I have been humming to myself ‘Tomorrow is a Better Day’. If you’d asked me 12 months ago, how I would have responded to this situation we find ourselves in, it certainly wouldn’t have been humming songs!

I do, also appreciate, that I only have myself and my husband to think about, and that relatively there has been very little change to the way we live our lives, as I have been a Stay at Home Wife for 5 years in May. We are very fortunate, in that we have no financial worries, or work worries, neither of us is a key worker and so relative to many other people we do have little by way of stressors to affect us at this time.

It has also coincided with my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and so I was already in a position where I wasn’t able to exercise and needed to sit down and take stock of life a little. This has literally forced me to sit down and reflect on who I am and where I am.

One of the key benefits of the lockdown is, as yet, I haven’t been bored, although I do realise there is more than an element of busy-ness about my days and avoiding periods of quiet. Filling my time with stuff and chocolate, rather than face the quiet. I haven’t once panicked about picking up the virus. I have shouted at my parents for not following the rules, but this does seem to be a common trend with my friends with older parent. I do have about a million projects on the go, or that I am dying to start. I have taken advantage of so much free ‘stuff’. 30 day yoga challenges, meditation challenges, Qi Gong routines, Kundalini Yoga, you name it, it’s arrived in my inbox and I’m not ashamed to say I’ve tried it all, some of which I’ve really enjoyed, some of which I was really glad it was free, because that was really not my cup of tea. I even have a friend from school who does a gig from her lounge at the weekend, which really lifts our spirits. There have been some down days, but these have been more of an exception.

I have finally been myself. My battered, weary, worn-out self. I haven’t had to pretend to anyone that I’m someone or something I’m not, I haven’t had to fit in, or be someone else’s idea of the person I am. I’ve been me. I’ve done a daily (ish) Facebook live for my friends and not once have I bothered about my hair, or makeup and have worn my favourite slopping, staying in jumper for most instalments. My friends have seen the real me, who I now realise, is the person that most of my older friends already knew. It is my newer friends, those who encountered the navy wearing version of me, the one a quest for perfection, the one who strived to be something I’m not, that may be a bit more surprised by what they see.

Banksy’s Girl with the Diamond Earring gained a mask

As with many people I have embraced technology and am spending quite a bit of time chatting to friends on line. Monday night is Mum and Dad, Tuesday and Friday is spent the with the ladies from the Menopause Movement and Saturday evening is ‘Girls Night In’ with my friends from the local hostelry. I think without these I might have gone insane. I always thought I was a bit of a misfit and that I could take or leave other people, however, as time has gone on I realise that actually I do really need people, I need to chat, I need to laugh and smile and as much as anything I really need to get out and see people in real life!

I think I am quite fortunate that I am living in a bubble. We are right in the centre of Bristol and all the shops are shut, all the car parks are shut, there is absolutely no reason to be here. It is the strangest thing, and I wonder if in all of its history, Bristol has ever seen anything like this. As a consequence there is little by way of people, or traffic, there are no queues at the local supermarkets and M&S is doing some great bargains on food. I’ve had way too many of their Easter Eggs at knock down prices. We also have access to a selection of take-away food as several of the local independent restaurants have found ways to continue trading. Our morning walk takes us past an independent coffee shop, we’ve eaten Korean street food, Caribbean food, pasta dishes, burgers. A couple of times we have ventured further afield, south of the river and have been shocked by the sudden increase in traffic and the number of people, and the queues, the queues, at the supermarket. The only downside to our bubble is a lack of outside space, so as a consequence, we take our daily exercise very seriously, as it is our opportunity to get out and experience something different. This being Bristol we have had some amazing sights on our walks, every day spotting something different, from updates to Banksy street art to a rainbow appearing in the windows of the council house.

Hopefully, this coming week, we will get some news as to whether or not we can leave our bubble at any time soon. On the one hand, I am ready to get out and meet people, on the other it comes with a massive concern about the impact. I also don’t know if I’ve ready for people to invade our bubble. Seeing Bristol so peaceful during lockdown, having time and space to breathe has been a real treat and a privilege and I’m not sure I’m quite ready to share it again!

Bristol Council House with it’s rainbow for the NHS

Albufeira, Bristol, Happiness, Walking

Changeover Week!

May 19, 2019 Steph TJ

But these weeks are also very exciting as we remember what it is that we so love about each of the places we are fortunate enough to live in. I have talked about the contrasts between the two places before – but this time coming from Albufeira to Bristol seems to have been more extreme.

Two lots of cleaning, it’s a bizarrely northern thing I suspect. I spend hours cleaning one apartment so that it’s nice to come back to, and then spend the first day back cleaning – even though nothing has happened in the apartment whilst we were away. This time the cleaning took on additional focus as a relative will be staying in our Portuguese home whilst we are in Bristol – so I have discovered yet another level of clean – ‘relative that isn’t your parents, sister or nephews’ clean!

The last time we came was for a flying visit so that I could go on the Hen weekend in Bath, so I barely had any time to spend in Bristol and so didn’t fully appreciate it. This time we have come back for the wedding – which I am very excited about and we are here for a few weeks. Husband did ask me last week what it was I was most looking forward to about being here and it was the wedding. Now I am back here, I realise there was so much more that I miss about Bristol.

Bristol is home. Despite my best efforts to make our Albufeira apartment as homely as possible, without moving lock, stock and barrel, there are ‘things’ in Bristol which make it home. For a start there is my wedding bouquet which I made from Coalport brooches; then there are my Grandad’s books along with his certificates proudly displayed on the wall, as they have been since 1945 I imagine; my Nana’s vase and balloon lady; the dog’s radio (the dog passed over 2 years ago now, but for some reason that radio which never gets used survived downsizing); the gifts I received from good friends at my first wedding and were the treasures I took with me when I left; the daft bits and bobs that my sister has bought me for Christmas over the years. It’s not just about me, there are ornaments from my mother-in-law’s home, things that she loved and which are of sentimental value to my husband. There are other bits and pieces that represent our life together as well as those we separately bought to our home – silly little things that make a home.

Of course, there are our friends. We were fortunate enough to have lots of friends visit us during our stay in Albufeira, including the mother of the bride at the forthcoming wedding and it is so lovely to be able to catch up with them again. Or last meal in Albufeira was at an excellent restaurant, The Country Cockerel Kitchen, with our good friend Graham Evans amongst others. We also have reservations at a couple of beautiful restaurants in Bristol during this stay, along with a visit to the ‘Mighty Gate’ to watch Take That! Food, in particular, is one thing that both husband and I genuinely miss when we are in Portugal. The choice in Bristol is immense and so varied. Already this week we’ve eaten falafel from Eat a Pitta, (nothing in Albufeira has come close to the standard of these falafel) had Caribbean food from the Friday street food market outside St Nic’s market, gone along to the farmers market on Whiteladies Road. Whilst the food in Albufeira is lovely and there is a wide choice of good quality restaurants, nothing really compares to the variety on offer in Bristol – much of which is relatively cheap and of outstanding quality.

Bristol is generally a fantastic, vibrant, diverse place to be. There is no ‘normal’ that I can identify. People are just themselves, content in the knowledge that it’s ok to be who you want to be, but nobody bats an eyelid, nobody feels the need to conform. Vintage and second hand shopping is as popular as high street shopping as people hunt for unique pieces that will set them apart from the crowd. I know that I myself feel more relaxed here and under less pressure to fit in. I’ve recently watched a programme on Netflix, ‘Call to Courage’ with Brene Brown. One thing that really struck a chord with me is that fitting in isn’t the same as belonging. When you try to ‘fit in’ you change aspects of yourself to make yourself more acceptable, more popular, more normal. When you belong, you can just be yourself. I belong in Bristol, I ‘fit in’ in Albufeira and that, in a nutshell is the key difference. I’ve always been a bit quirky, a bit of a lone wolf and during the last years of my teaching I lost my individuality a bit. It’s beginning to come back now, and when I am in Bristol I truly feel I can be myself, without judgement, no matter how bonkers that might be.

Yesterday, I had a fantastic morning walking the length of one of the main routes in Bristol. From Wild Oats, a health food shop at the top of Whiteladies Road, right down to the library on College Green, past the beautiful Will’s Building which dominates Park Street. Along the way I encountered most of what Bristol has to offer, including a walk for Crohn’s and Colitis, and a motorbike rally raising awareness of Soldier F. Bristol is loud and busy, with a constant soundtrack of cars, buses, sirens, skateboarders, late-night revellers, the slush puppy wheelbarrow man, all set in a backdrop of the old city. I love it here and would be sad not to be able to experience it any more.

IMG_20181118_103138411_HDR — Wills Building

Albufeira, Bristol, Food and drink, Portugal

Compare and Contrast

February 10, 2019February 10, 2019 Steph TJ

I am in the very fortunate position of spending my life living in two amazing places; Albufeira in Portugal and Bristol, United Kingdom.

We are often asked how it is we can bear to live in such a busy place as the centre of Old Town in Albufeira, especially as it gets busier in the summer months. It gets louder – with music from the bars going on into the early hours of the morning. There is more traffic and there are way more people. Yes, our home is in the middle of all of this, but it’s set back on a little side street, away from the hustle and bustle – so we are sort of in the midst of things, but also out of it, on a small one way street that leads to nowhere. We consider it relatively quiet, especially when you compare it to our home in Bristol.

You couldn’t really get more of a contrast. We have made our home right in the centre of town, in about as busy a spot as you could probably find. Buses run all day and also through the night. We are surrounded by office blocks and student accommodation and often when we are awake in the night are treated to the most amazing choirs. Most of us have belonged to such a choir at some point in our time – the choir made up of people on their way home from the pub, confident in the knowledge that they are the best singers EVER! We’ve had Oasis, Aha, The Three Tenors, you name it, we’ve probably heard it and each time, you just can’t help but smile!

In Albufeira we have the beaches. One right on our doorstep, but then other smaller, secluded beaches all along the coast. We have the changing colours of the sea, the differences in the waves and the tides, every day is a different view – something will have changed. When the tourists arrive all with their different coloured beach umbrellas it brings a real sense of excitement to the town, particularly at the beginning of the season. Then in Bristol we have the harbourside. So busy and bustling, with the brightly coloured boats, floating happily besides great boats such as the Matthew and the SS Great Britain. We have Gromits, Gorillas and Shaun the Sheep standing to attention, there is even a crocheted crocodile in homage to the crocodile of Bristol that apparently makes his home in the harbour!

In both locations you have the old next to the new. One of my favourites in Bristol is the view of the Church of St John on the wall, part of the original old city walls, right next to iconic pieces of street art, ‘Where the Wall’ and ‘The Vandal’. Obviously we also have Banksy. So much so that I don’t even notice them anymore – they are just part and parcel of every day life. Clearly not in the same league, but in Albufeira several of the electricity boxes have been covered with pieces of street art which reflect the heritage of the town. Our apartment sits within the original city walls, yet within 5 minutes you are right in the centre of the newer square, and all of the bars and restaurants. One of my favourite times of year in Albufeira is Easter. It’s still very much a religious festival in Portugal with processions all across the Easter weekend – through the hoards of tourists there to enjoy the sun.

And as for food! Both places provide a huge variety of cuisine that vary in Italian, Indian, Chinese, Portuguese, Vegan, Tapas. In Bristol we have the added benefit of street food, that really does cover every nationality, including Caribbean. In Albufeira if you dig deeply enough – well actually – not all that deeply at all, just leave the main tourist areas you can find some outstanding food at reasonable prices. You might not get a wide choice, but the quality is something else. Likewise in Bristol, there are just some amazing restaurants, popping up all over the place, some of which are housed in small cargo sheds. In Bristol it’s really hard to find middle of the the road chain restaurants, we are a picky lot and like our food to be high quality and independent and we will pay. Equally in Portugal – you can find the middle of the road, microwaved meals, but walk around the back streets and you will find so much more, fantastic little independent restaurants, run by families who are so very enthusiastic about their food and your experience with them really matters.

So, all in all, the two places aren’t all that different – barring the weather obviously! I’m incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to experience the contrasts.