January 2020 – Life According to TJ

Walking in Innsbruck

January 26, 2020 Steph TJ

This past week we have been on a city break to Innsbruck. Yes. you heard that right, a city break to Innsbruck. Earlier in 2019 husband and I decided we’d like to go somewhere with snow and I always love a mountain. A quick google search later and we discovered that Innsbruck is, in fact, one of the up and coming city break destinations. Add in ridiculously cheap flights, for some reason we never did work out, and we were good to go.

Highlights

For me the main highlights included the trip up to the top of the Nordkette mountain This involved a ride on the Hungerburg funicular, from the centre of Innsbruck itself and two further cable car rides to take us up to the top of the mountain. The weather whilst we was there was just beautiful and the views at the top made the journey up well worth while. And it was quiet, so very quiet. I had assumed that once we’d left the city centre and hit the ski-ing areas it would become much busier, but it was beautifully serene, with barely a soul to be seen on the ski slopes. We weren’t there to ski, I love it but husband isn’t a fan. Either way, I’m not sure that my back would have been up to the challenge at the moment anyway, so it was best to stick to walking and admiring the views. The walk at the top of the mountain was quite challenging, but well worth it to experience the views across the Karwendal Nature park.

I also loved our train trip into Seefeld which we took on our last day. Just a 30 minute ride out of the centre of Innsbruck and it was like being in another world. I have always loved being up in the mountains since my first school holiday – a ski-ing trip to Italy. This, for me, was paradise. I’d passed through Seefeld once before. 30 years ago, my family went on a coach holiday to somewhere in Austria! After we’d been on the coach from London for about 60 million hours, the first stop was in Seefeld! It was more how I’d remembered Austria, with the Tyrolean chalets. We had a lovely walk around the Wildsee frozen lake and through the town. What I particularly loved about it was how active everyone was. Within the space of 100 yards we saw ice-skating on an outside rink (with real ice, obviously), curling and cross country ski-ing over the golf course. Everyone was there – older people just out to stretch their legs, right through to competitive skiers who were taking it very seriously. It made me sad that we have nothing similar in the UK. We don’t have that general outdoorsy attitude towards life. I appreciate rain soaked Bristol isn’t quite sunny Asutria, but I’m sure more could be make available to enable people to get fit and active. We had a fabulous lunch in a typical Tyrolean cafe, sitting out in the sunshine, surrounded by snow. Just perfect.

Walking by the frozen Wildsee lake in Seefeld

Innsbruck

Innsbruck itself grew on us. Initially I think we were both a bit underwhelmed by it, not helped by less than perfect accommodation, but it’s definitely a grower. On our first morning we did the good old ‘hop on, hop off’ bus which gave us a great idea of the layout of the city. We stopped off at the Bergisel ski-jump and took the lift up to the very top. My dad was right with his memories of that trip, you do look straight down the jump into the cemetery of. Quite what possesses people to hoist themselves of a small metal seat down a slippery slope into oblivion is quite beyond me – certainly not for the faint-hearted! But well worth the visit just to get an idea of the insanity!

We stopped in a suburb of Innsbruck called Hotting which meant we had a good 20 minute walk or so into town, which we did for several days and provided us with great views of the River Inn and the original buildings of Mariahilf. Eventually we discovered just how easy the bus service was to use and that our Innsbruck Card included free travel on all public transport, which really opened up the city to us. If you do ever visit Innsbruck, I highly recommend getting the Innsbruck card as it is amazing value for money. There are also a number of useful apps, one ‘Innsbruck’ which is basically a tourist guide of the city, but also one for the buses and one for the trains, which were easy to use. My knowledge of the German language is nil, but I found that I was able to navigate my way around them to find out the information I needed.

Walking alongside the River Inn with views over to Mariahilf

As ever, we tried as much as we could to find smaller, less touristy places to eat and weren’t disappointed. We had been given to believe that Austria would be expensive when we got there, but we found that it was similarly priced to Bristol, if not a little cheaper, but much of that may be because we actively seek out places to eat that are a little off the beaten track. We ate a fabulous Turkish lunch in the Marktplatz, overlooking the river, which besides having traditional market stalls, also has a range of smaller eateries ranging from pizza to fish and more traditional Austrian food options. I was determined to eat as much authentic Austrian food as I could and wasn’t disappointed. Two restaurants that we particularly enjoyed were Weinhaus Happ and Stiftskeller, where both the service and atmosphere were great. Whilst both are in the more touristy area of the old city, there was a good mix of tourists and locals in both establishments!

Swarovski Kristallwelten

Innsbruck has been the home of Swarovski Kristallwelton for 25 years. Swarovski has been producing crystals in Innsbruck since the late 19th century. I have to confess that I’d always assumed they were made in America as that’s where I’d seen most stores and to my mind that was the over the top, shiny market it mostly appealed to. We went along because we had the Innsbruck Card, so the shuttle to Kristallwelton and entrance were included. I wasn’t expecting much from the visit, but as it was included it seemed rude not to give it a try, and anyway, crystals are sparkly so what could go wrong? Like most modern art museums, some of the pieces I really loved. I didn’t quite understand what they meant, even after reading the information, but some were just lost on me. My favourite was walking through the forest – although it was a bit nerve-wracking as you really couldn’t tell where the pathway through was. The Chandelier of Grief of Yoyai Kusama, although lovely, is much like the Northern Lights, the photo I took looks far more dramatic than the reality! I also loved the ‘clouds’ outside. As we had such beautiful weather, they really did sparkle in the sunshine. As you would imagine, there is a shop, a very big shop. At which point I did remember why Swarovski is lost on me. I’m not a dazzly, jewellery sort of girl and it would be fair to say, nothing that they sell is understated! As it was included in the price of our Innsbruck Card, I’m glad that I went, however, I would have been disappointed had I paid full price for the entry tickets.

By the end of the 5 days we spent there, we had fallen in love with Innsbruck and would visit again, especially as there are still parts of the city we’d like to walk around. It was quiet, I’m not sure if that’s because it was January, it was relaxed, it was flat and so easy to walk around, the people were friendly and welcoming and eager to help out where they could. If you’re looking for a different place for a city break, with far fewer tourists than you’d expect, I’d highly recommend a visit. It doesn’t have any ‘wow’ monuments or museums like many other cities, but the overall experience and the atmosphere around the city more than makes up for it. Having said that, what more of a ‘wow’ do you really need than being surrounded by snow capped mountains in every direction that you look.

Food and drink, Healthy living, reflection, Well-being

Going Cold Turkey

January 19, 2020January 17, 2020 Steph TJ

One month ago, on 16th December 2019, I went Cold Turkey on everything. By everything I mean:

Alcohol
Processed meat and red meat
Refined carbohydrates
Cake
Pastry
Cheese
Chocolate

Yes, I went Cold Turkey on anything ‘nice’ in the run up to Christmas, but with different degrees of success?

After 1 week I posted a picture of myself on Facebook. I plan to post weekly then monthly photos of myself over the coming weeks and months, as much as anything as a form of measurement for myself as you how I am doing. I don’t own a set of scales, so weight isn’t any indication of progress and anyway that’s not what the motivation for doing this is.

As I posted that first photo I had a range of responses including: giving up everything would be just too boring; why would you give up everything that is nice; why not just over indulge and diet in January. Here’s the thing, I had over indulged. We went back to Bristol for the first two weeks of December and by the 15th December I was bedridden, exhausted, in pain, discomfort, unable to function. Looking back I think I was also coming down with a bit of a bug, but even so, I was in no fit state to continue. This is not new and this is not unusual; it is something I have managed for as long as I can remember.

Why am I giving up ‘nice’ things?

So, this is how it goes. We get invited for an evening out. The day of the evening out I have to sleep in the afternoon in order to have the sheer oomph to get through the evening. Then I get ready, we go out and ‘sociable Steph’ arrives. I drink, normally Prosecco or white wine and normally, two or three glasses – I don’t drink vast amounts because of how poorly it makes me. I eat the food: a starter, a main course and a dessert. We may go on for a night cap after the meal. Then we go home and go to bed. Within the hour I am generally back up, feeling uncomfortable and ready to burst. The discomfort grows and grows over the next few hours until all the food and drink vacates my body by any means at it’s disposal. Then finally, I go to bed in the early hours of the morning and sleep. As a consequence I do not function the following day, as I am sleep deprived and sore, my body aches from head to toe. So, in fact, we have to set aside two days for me to go out for a meal with friends, one day to summon up the energy and one day to recover. Most people chortle that we have to be home for my husband to have his afternoon nap – in reality I’m the one that does the napping – I’m the one that places limits on what we can do in a day.

Why, might you ask, do I put myself through this? Because, by and large, this is what is expected. Because this is what is considered normal. Because I really don’t want to let people down. Because, just for that moment in time I can join in. Because sometimes it just becomes too hard to have to explain.

The problem is, when we went back to Bristol at the beginning of December we did this for 10 nights out of 19. There weren’t enough ‘off’ days for me to actually recover. So my body imploded, I was bedridden and I decided, enough was enough.

A life within limits

Generally, this has been the picture of my life, I went to work, I put all the energy I had into going to work which meant at home I had nothing. I do blame having mumps as a child for leaving me with some fatigue issues. Back in the 1970’s things like Chronic Fatigue didn’t exist, you just got on with life. I also tend to avoid labels as to my mind, once you have a label your brain starts to think you are ill, and I don’t want to be going down that rabbit hole! I have had pockets in my life when it wasn’t like this. As a student, during which time I was tea-total I was fine, and everybody’s mate as I was a non-drinker in possession of a car! I had another period of time between 2000 and 2007 when I lived in Stoke-on-Trent and socialised with many like minded people for whom alcohol was irrelevant. I also exercised regularly and made sure I didn’t allow myself to get stressed, luckily I worked in an environment which was well managed. I went to a nutritionist and ate a healthy, varied diet which excluded most ‘nice’ foods and I was happy – not 100% healthy but the closest I’ve ever been.

When I moved back to Bristol in 2009, I lost that all important support network, the job I went to was stressful and the school was badly run. Consequently, I started to make poor choices regarding diet and health, I stopped exercising as regularly and over the years have become less and less like myself. My social life also changed in Bristol and became more focussed around bars, eating and drinking – but my stressed self enjoyed it, it provided a welcome release from the grind of the day job. But I was back to sleeping for most of the weekend. Back to putting all my effort into other people, other things and being a transparent version of myself at home.

So, to December 2019. Finally I woke up. Four years ago I gave up work to spend time with my husband, to do our retirement thing, to travel and spend quality time together. But we haven’t been doing that. In many respects, and on bad days, my husband has essentially become my carer. He is the one that gathers me up after we have been out. The one who has had his sleep disturbed because I’ve been ill throughout the night. The one that makes all the meals and tries so very hard to make sure they are as healthy as they can be. The one that turns a blind eye to the messiness of our home because he understands that I just don’t have the energy to tidy up. The one who does the washing, the ironing, doing as much of the housework that he possibly can, just so that I don’t have to. The one that pushes me out of the door to exercise as he knows that although I am exhausted it will help me later on in the day. The one who sits quietly and reads while I sleep during the day, all so that I can go out in the evening and be sociable, to have a drink or two, share a meal and to behave ‘normally’.

What next?

I don’t want that life anymore. I want to have the energy to enjoy time with my husband. I’m tired of using all my energy on other people rather than my marriage. I want to be able to exercise when I’d like, not on the odd day when I actually feel well enough to bother. I want to go to bed safe in the knowledge that I won’t actually be ill throughout the night. I know this works, I’ve done it in the past. I know that eating healthily, and making the best choices I can will enable me to function on a day to day basis. I owe it to my husband and our retirement to give this my everything as I am tired of missing out on days and opportunities with him to appease others.

It took a good two weeks for me to recover any sense of equilibrium after going cold turkey. For some reason that I can’t explain on January 1st, 2020, I decided to have a glass of wine. Maybe because our New Year’s Eve didn’t happen as husband had proper flu. Maybe it was just because I wanted to see what might happen if I did have that one glass of wine with lunch out with my friend. It was tragic! I lost two days as a consequence of that one glass of wine.

I’ve not been perfect this month and I wasn’t successful in giving up sweet treats. There has been so much chocolate in the house and a friend of ours made us the most beautiful Christmas Cake that just had to be eaten. I am writing this last part of the blog on the plane from Faro to Bristol, exactly one month from the day I went cold turkey. My plan for this month is to tackle the sugary snacks and the desserts when we go out for meals. Quite often in Albufeira, restaurants offer an all in price for 3 courses and it seems a shame not to have the ‘free’ dessert. I am ready to stop eating them, ready to try cutting them out and see what the effect is. I think this is my alcohol, I know I am really going to struggle with this, but I have to try.

Healthy living, Reading, Well-being

My Recommendations

January 12, 2020January 12, 2020 Steph TJ

My life has changed quite dramatically over the past 18 months as I have made a concerted effort to focus on improving my mental and physical health. I won’t lie, there have been a few dead ends that I’ve travelled along, a few toe-curling moments, but equally some flashes of inspiration and resources that have made a real impact. I’m not a fan of taking tablets. Husband and I have discussed this at great length. Whilst taking antidepressants would manage the episodes of depression, they also lessen the enjoyment of happy times. So whilst life may be a roller coaster, I’d rather be experiencing the full spectrum of ups and downs rather than floundering in the middle somewhere. This approach does require effort, and some sacrifices, some of which people don’t understand, but for me life is for living and I have to give it my best shot.

Whilst I am in the fortunate position that I don’t have to go to work and so have the time to spend researching different areas that interest me, I don’t have a bottomless pot of money to spend. So I am careful to find things that are free, or cheap, or at the very list provide me with what I consider to be value for money.

I love seeking out a bargain, especially when it comes to books. More often than not, you can find a used version of a book, for pennies. Equally, I am a great fan of the library; I regularly borrow a specific book and then decide whether or not it is worth spending my husband’s hard earned pounds on it!

I thought I’d share some of my favourite finds with you, things that I do use over and over again.

Dr Brianne Grogan

This is my favourite go to website, youtube combination. I first came across Dr Bri when I was travelling in Barcelona and my pelvic floor was particularly flimsy! I came across her Lift Series which I could start there and then and start to regain some control over the functioning of my body. Dr Bri advocates a holistic approach to living. In order for one part of your body to work effectively, all of the other pieces need to be functioning correctly as one cohesive whole. Too frequently (and I have been at the wrong end of this) medical practitioners put right the problem that you have presented with and send you on your way, without considering what else might be going on in the vicinity that could be contributing to the situation. Dr Bri looks at it all and provides some really simple and attainable life style changes that you can make to begin to get yourself on the right track, and because of her I have discovered essential oils and more recently Ayurveda. What I particularly love about her is that she is a qualified women’s health physical therapist, but equally goes to great pains to point out that she isn’t your local practitioner and that in an ideal world, you would use her programmes alongside treatment from your local practitioner. I found this really refreshing in a world where everyone is an Instagram expert.

I’ve become a great fan of podcasts. I’m not the greatest flyer, but a good podcast helps the time go by and also frees me up to do some sock knitting at the same time. The main problem with podcasts, for me, is just finding the time to fit them all in!

Fearne Cotton: Happy Place

I love Fearne Cotton. I’ve also got her books ‘Happy’ and ‘Calm’. On her podcast she interviews a range of people including sportsmen and actors and discusses their mental health journeys. It’s a bit more light hearted than some, and she has such a beautiful interviewing technique that she is able to drawer the best out of her interviewees. I’ve found that my enjoyment varies depending on who she’s interviewing, but that’s the same with all chat shows. Obviously my favourite was her interview with Ruby Wax.

Dr Rangan Chattergee: Feel Better, Live More

I love this podcast! I love that he is a GP who is trying to advocate alternative methods to support patients in the UK and hasn’t just gone down the route of chucking a drug at everything. I’ve learned so much from this podcast. I’ve found out about Cal Newport and his Digital Detox which has changed the way I use my phone. I’m not perfect, but I’m much better. On my last flight I listened to episode #84 ‘Why Walking is the Superpower…’, with Professor Shane O’Mara which was just an eye opener and helped me understand why moving is so important. It was episode #85 with Andy Ramage that planted the seed of my giving up alcohol for a while, just to see if it would make a difference to my health and well-being. He discusses such a wide range of topics and each one leaves you eager to learn more, find out more and in some cases just to google whether or not that can even be true!

Russell Brand: Under the Skin

I have to confess that this is the podcast that I least expected to take to, but it is just fascinating. The level of knowledge that Russell Brand has on such a wide range of topic areas is just insane, and I have to confess that on a number of occasions I have been totally lost! I listened to this in the first instance because I really loved the person he was interviewing, to the extent I thought that putting up with Russell Brand for a bit was more than worth the effort. I was blown away. Again, the range of topics that he discusses and the variety of guests that he has on his programme is extraordinary and every episode leaves you wanting more. There are several that I’ve listened to more than once, just to fully understand everything that was discussed. The slight downside with this is that Russell Brand has recently moved to Luminary, a paid for podcast platform, but he does still have a great you tube channel and occasionally shares an episode to free to listen platforms.

Sometimes, there is just no substitute for a book. I’m having to get used to using the Kindle more, as it is a far easy way of transporting books.

Ruby Wax

I’ve read all of her books. She’s fantastic, going from comedienne to Neuroscientist, as you do. I remember showing a clip of her on YouTube when I was teaching, chortling away throughout, thinking it was the best thing ever, only to realise that not one of the students in my class had a clue who she was and didn’t find her the least bit funny! Her books are really accessible and humorous and help you make sense of a serious situation. She removes the fear and gives you hope that there is a way to get to a better place. There are number of stories she tells which make you feel ‘well, at least I was never that bad’, primarily because so much of what she did was in the public eye and at the very least I could fall apart in private.

Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth

I first came across Eckhart Tolle via another book that I read, Dan Harris ’10% happier’ (also worth a read). I admit that at that time, I did order ‘The Power of Now’ and decided it was not for me. I came across ‘A New Earth’ via Oprah Winfrey’s Soul Sessions podcast. I am a big Oprah fan. Anyway, she has a chapter by chapter review of the book, where she interviews Eckhart Tolle and discusses what each of the chapters mean and as with many things, she was able to put it into normal everyday language, so that you understand more clearly what the book is getting at! Technically, this book is about spirituality, but I found it more useful for my mental health. It helped me understand why I needed to be more present and offers suggestions on how you might be more present. It provides and understanding of why your thoughts might be the way they are, where they may come from, but equally important for me, where the thoughts of others might originate from. I’ve always been a nightmare for creating negative interpretations of the way other people might view me. This book helped me to stop, consider and even watch how other people are behaving and to understand they have their own chatter in their own minds, which determines how they behave towards me – it’s actually got nothing to do with me at all. This has been a revelation to me, and incredibly freeing. This is a book that I go back to time and time again, to refresh my mind and remind me to stay as present as I can.

Calm

This is my favourite app. I’ve dabbled with various meditation apps, but this one has won me over, primarily because of Matthew McConahys sleep story. Sadly, given the purpose of the sleep stories is to send you to sleep I don’t actually know how the story ends!

This is a paid for app and one of few things that I have paid full price for, but I love it. I’m not the best at meditation, but it has guided meditations, daily meditation practices, music to relax to and help you sleep. It has a brilliant 7 day introduction to meditation which isn’t the least bit scary. It’s definitely worth the free trial if nothing else.

I am learning and reading all the time. I am currently reading ‘The Idiot’s Guide to Ayurveda’ by Sahara Rose, who also has a podcast. And so I am off at another tangent, investigating other ways to support my health and well-being. If nothing else, it keeps me amused!

Healthy living, Mindfulness, Sustainable Living, Well-being

One Year of Sustainable Living

January 5, 2020January 4, 2020 Steph TJ

I’d intended for this blog post to be about 20 things I was going to do for 2020. I started 19 things for 2019, but admittedly, lost enthusiasm half way through the year. But, I thought, 2020 has a nice ring, so thought I’d dust my list off and try again. But then I started wondering as I pondered over my list, trying to find 20 things to do this year, ‘Is this actually the way to go’?

As my alter ego, Poppytoft, I like to do crafts, to make things, specifically using knitting, crochet and sewing. I enjoy designing quirky clothes for children and coming up with ways to customise existing clothes and give them a new lease of life. A week or so ago, as I was walking through Seville, I saw a small girls cardigan in a shop window and as ever my immediate thought was ‘I could make that’. But then from somewhere I had a second thought, ‘could I make it using sustainable materials’? I have an insane ‘stash’ of wool and fabric at home, there is absolutely no need for me to go out and source something new. You name it, I probably have it in my craft cupboard. But what if I haven’t got the ‘perfect’ fabric? There are at least 5 million charity shops in Bristol, and several in Albufeira, all of which sell pieces that could be used as fabric or could be upcycled into a new piece. I’m fairly confident I could manage to source all the material, wool, ribbons, even buttons, from the charity shops of Bristol, it will just take a bit of creativity.

But then that got me thinking. If I can design and make new clothes from old for children, then what’s stopping me doing that for myself. I can’t imagine that I’m the only middle aged woman in the world who is looking for imaginative ways to update or upcycle dated pieces. I have way too many clothes in my wardrobe, there is absolutely no need for me to buy anything new – not for a very, very long time. Yes, I might be a bit tired, or bored of some, but I am also able to change them, or update them and bring them back to life.

I think like many people, I have become increasingly weary of ‘stuff’ and where that ‘stuff’ will eventually end up. I moved home a couple of years ago, downsizing in the process. There is nothing quite like downsizing to make you re-evaluate exactly what is necessary in your life. Much of the ‘stuff’ I had, I wondered why I’d actually believed I’d needed it in the first place. There were some boxes I’d moved from Stoke-on-Trent to Bristol and remained in the shed, un-opened, for 8 years, so, clearly, the ‘stuff’ in those boxes wasn’t necessary. We tried as far as we could to donate, recycle or sell our things, but ultimately a lot of it just did end up in the bin.

Then this got me thinking a little more. If I could create clothes and accessories using what I already have, where else could I apply the same logic and stop buying? I already started cutting down on things during 2019. Instead of having multiple body lotions to choose from after a shower, I’ve been using (and buying) one bottle at a time and am far more particular about the packaging. I’ve started using a hair shampoo soap ( I currently use Lush Montalbano) and am working my way through bottles of shower gel to be replaced by soap when they are all empty.

In addition to this, I am also interested in finding more healthy ways of living. Not only am I concerned by the amount of packaging that I am using and trying to recycle, but I’m increasingly concerned by the chemicals I am consuming, either through food or through my skin. You read all of these ingredients on bottles, but are many of them actually beneficial? What are the long term implications of putting these chemicals on, or in to my body. Is there a way I could actually make my own lotions and potions, thereby reducing the amount of packaging I use, but also understanding more fully exactly what it is that I am using? Just this morning I listened to a podcast, Highest Self Podcast Episode 227, which discussed the impact of chemicals within our food and our surrounding environment on our long term health.

So, rather than doing 20 things for 2020, I’m going to attempt one really big thing. I’m going to try to live as sustainably as I can for the year and minimise the amount of new things that I buy. I would say I am like many a sustainable campaigner at the moment, I think I know about it, but in actual fact, I suspect I have no real idea and that I have much to learn! I haven’t got a clue how this will pan out, but if nothing else, if I am in the least bit successful, my husband’s bank balance will be much happier at the end of 2020!